What if I Like and NEED the Job But Don't Like my Potential Boss?

This is a tough hypothetical question. I know you need a job and it sounds like you think you found one that is the "right fit" for you.

Let's assume you are offered the job. You can take it, and see it as an opportunity to learn one of the most challenging skills in work: to get along with people you don't necessarily like, to focus on work instead of personalities, and to adapt to challenging circumstances. Most of us have to work with people we don't love or even like very much.

For me, the goal was to figure out how to work well enough with them to get the job done.

* One strategy I used was looking for at least one positive thing about the person.

* Another was to "catch them doing something right" at least once a day.

* A third was to send them love and positive thoughts.

Amazingly, most of these people stopped annoying me within a week. Sometimes they changed their behavior - because nice behavior tends to be responded to with nice behavior. After all, "you catch more flies with honey." And mostly, I got into a new habit of focusing on their positive attributes rather than on how their less enjoyable aspects. I'm also reminded that "where my attention goes, energy flows." That means that if I focus my attention on something, then that's all I see.

If all I remembered was that Nora kept repeating her point and not listening to anyone else until she wears them down, that's all I saw and heard. And it was really annoying! I had to work to remember that Nora was a darn good manager with amazing integrity, and usually her points of view are valuable and correct. That put her annoying tenacity in perspective. It didn't make it go away, it simply minimized her flaws enough that I could continue to work with her.

The real question is: Would I CHOOSE to work for Nora? Not if I could help it. In my humble opinion, this is not a "right fit" job for you because your working relationship with you boss is so critical to your job happiness. And if you don't like your boss, my bet is your boss won't really like you. This sounds like it would be a termination waiting to happen.

My question to you is: Why would you think you could work effectively for someone you don't like? While it may be character-building, it is not fun to work for someone you may not like and it certainly does not lend itself to a lengthy job tenure. If you need the job and are offered it, it's OK to take it. I'd continue my job search, however, because there's a better than even chance you'll be so unhappy you'll want to leave soon.

Of course, the job offer is hypothetical. And I am sorry to say that in this particular job market, such an offer is highly unlikely to be made. Employers simply have too many candidates to choose from to choose someone who is not a good personality fit. My hunch is that your potential boss sensed your dislike or some potential conflict, unless you are an expert at hiding your feelings.

So don't count on being offered the job even if you have exactly the skills, experience, education and background they are seeking. Chemistry and culture fit are all-important now. You and they will spend hours and hours and hours together each week.

Remember though that every "no" does bring you one step closer to the "yes" you want, and it will be a "right fit" job for you if you are clear about what you want in a job. Good luck!